Úmarth

Mar. 10th, 2013 06:10 pm
kenaz: (Elves: Beleg)
[personal profile] kenaz
Úmarth

Written for [livejournal.com profile] lotr_community's February challenge: The Dark Side of Love
Required elements: flow, end, bind, rushes, utmost, aged, rapid, yaw
Summary: The master of doom, by doom mastered.
Word Count: 400


At the utmost end, Túrin saw before him the faces of those he had loved and failed, and knew himself vanquished. He could not claw through the dirt in Taur-na-Fuin and lay himself down beside Beleg’s aged bones, nor lift the stones of Haudh-en-Elleth to fall once more on Finduilas’ grave, nor give himself to the rapid river that had claimed his lover-sister and their unborn son in its relentless flow. No, not for him, the aches of age and glory’s fading memory; nor the hero’s mantle, nor the victor’s crown. All he had sought had eluded him, and all that he had loved he had consigned to dust while he railed, blow after impotent blow, against a fate he could not master.

“I have but one deed left to me,” he whispered to the water and the wind, “and though it be grim work, it be good. Perhaps the best I have yet done.” A smile, brief and sharp, flashed across his face, like the plummeting star that flares bright and then rushes into darkness. Beneath his feet he could feel the earth pitch and yaw as though it knew his mind and revolted.

Gurthang glinted darkly, and he beheld it with eyes unblinking. Its black point beckoned, inveigling him with keen and hungry words: Bind yourself to me, Turambar. To me.

Date: 2013-03-10 10:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilith-lessfair.livejournal.com
Disturbing and powerful, much like its subject.

Date: 2013-03-20 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Túrin is not a happy man. :(

Date: 2013-03-10 10:15 pm (UTC)
moetushie: Beaton cartoon - a sexy revolution. (∞ icant)
From: [personal profile] moetushie
Ah! That is a punch in the gut (or cursed sword...), I love it.

Date: 2013-03-20 05:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Thanks. I would think that after everything that happened to him, the end might have come as a relief.

Date: 2013-03-10 11:22 pm (UTC)
minuial_nuwing: (Into the West by Aglarien)
From: [personal profile] minuial_nuwing
Very powerful piece - the feeling of aching darkness, of fate inescapable, is almost suffocating.

Nice to see this from you, too. *g*

Date: 2013-03-20 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Thanks, Min. :)

His story really is just unremittingly grim. I need to write something less dour next time just to set my brain back in balance.

Date: 2013-03-11 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kymahalei.livejournal.com
This was so well crafted. What a sad and sobering vivid image.

Date: 2013-03-20 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Thank you. I have always been extremely disturbed by that sword...

Date: 2013-03-11 10:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tehta.livejournal.com
Foolish words, too, based on Turin's track record; and certainly, the sword ends up broken...

Love how you have managed to include all the words so seamlessly.

Date: 2013-03-20 05:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Thanks-- tying in the words were the only "fun" part of telling this otherwise morbid tale. Happier subject matter next time, I hope!

Date: 2013-03-11 12:55 pm (UTC)
ext_93291: (B)
From: [identity profile] spiced-wine.livejournal.com
A smile, brief and sharp, flashed across his face, like the plummeting star that flares bright and then rushes into darkness. Beneath his feet he could feel the earth pitch and yaw as though it knew his mind and revolted.

Gurthang glinted darkly, and he beheld it with eyes unblinking. Its black point beckoned, inveigling him with keen and hungry words: Bind yourself to me, Turambar. To me.


You made me cry. Brilliant

Date: 2013-03-20 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Túrin was probably not a fun guy to have at parties. :(

Date: 2013-03-21 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
I know you do... and I really, really don't. I have tried really hard to like him. I have tried *particularly* hard to see what draws Beleg to him, either in a paternal *or* a romantic way... and I'm still at a loss. I feel bad for him; I know he's laboring under a terrible curse, I know Tolkien has carved out a hugely important place for him at the Last Battle-- so clearly Tolkien loves him as well-- but I just see an overly proud, petulant, self-pitying, dour, ungrateful, hothead who screws over Beleg (and then KILLS HIM-- even if it was an accident), screws over Gwindor, screws over Finduilas, and generally makes everyone miserable. I pity him, but that's about the best I can do. Not that this will stop me from attempting to find sympathy for him, but I will surprise myself if I ever do.

Date: 2013-03-21 03:59 pm (UTC)
ext_93291: (LA)
From: [identity profile] spiced-wine.livejournal.com
Well, you have written about him very beautifully for some-one who does not like him, so thank-you for that. (:

Date: 2013-03-11 07:00 pm (UTC)
ysilme: Close up of the bow of a historic transport boat with part of the sail. (Arda)
From: [personal profile] ysilme
Very powerful and intense! I have just finished listening to the Children of Húrin audiobook on Saturday, so the story is still very fresh in my mind. This fits so perfectly, as if it were a part of the book.

Date: 2013-03-20 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Thank you! Very bleak, though. It will be nice to write something a little less morbid!

Date: 2013-03-15 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heartofoshun.livejournal.com
Oh! This is amazing. You did a terrific jobs in a short piece. This is awesome. I just got back on the internet after over a week and ran into this! Wow! No wonder I missed it so much with such brilliant friends.

Date: 2013-03-20 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kenazfiction.livejournal.com
Thanks-- I like the challenges that involve trying to shoehorn specific words into a piece. They make my brain work in a slightly different way. I just hope next time it's something involving Hobbits and second breakfast. I need a break from the relentlessly dour.

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